Can Couples Therapy Save a Struggling Relationship?

Nadine Smith
Nov 7
3 min read

You're in bed scrolling on your phone while your partner does the same two feet away. Or you had another fight about absolutely nothing that somehow turned into everything.

And now you're wondering if this is it if this is just what relationships become.

So, can couples therapy actually help? The short answer is yes. A longer answer is that it depends on what you're both willing to look at.

Signs It Might Be Time

You don't have to wait until you're barely speaking. Some couples come in when things are just starting to feel off.

You might be ready if:

You keep having versions of the same argument with different details
One person's trying to connect while the other needs space, and it's this whole thing
You feel more like roommates managing logistics than actual partners
Something happened that shook your trust and you don't know how to move past it
The distance between you is growing and you're not sure how to close it
You still love each other but being together feels hard

If any of this resonates, therapy could give you a different way through.

What Actually Goes Down

A good therapist helps you both see what's happening between you that you can't quite see on your own.

Getting Past Surface Fights

That fight about whose turn it is to do dishes? It's not about dishes. It's about feeling unseen or unappreciated or like you're carrying everything alone. In therapy, you figure out how to:

Say what you actually mean without it turning into an attack
Hear what your partner's really saying under their words
Notice when you're about to spiral and hit pause
Stop doing the thing where you both end up hurt and nothing changes

Your Patterns Make Sense

This part's interesting. How you manage conflict, how you request what you want, how you close the door or explode, all this originates somewhere.

Perhaps you were taught at an early age that requesting something meant being disappointed, and you stopped making requests.

Perhaps your partner was taught that people go, so they cling.

When these patterns intersect, they form a loop which you are trapped in. Therapy assists in making you recognize the loop in order to get out of it.

Real Talk

Therapy works when both people show up for it. Now, this means:

Being honest even when it's uncomfortable
Looking at what you're contributing to the problem
Staying with the hard conversations instead of bailing
Wanting the relationship to work more than you want to be right

If one person's already out emotionally, or if there's abuse happening, therapy isn't the answer. But if you're both still in this, even barely, there's something to work with.

What Changes Look Like

The goal isn't to never disagree. It's to disagree without tearing each other apart. To actually work through things instead of avoiding them until they explode.

To remember why you chose each other in the first place.

When therapy works, you don't just get back to how things were. You build something that can actually hold the weight of real life.

Reach Out

Look, if you're exhausted from the same cycles and ready to see if things can shift, that's enough.

At Magnolia Psychiatric Services, we work with couples who are exactly where you are.

We help you understand what's happening between you and discover new ways to stay connected.

This is all done via telepsychiatry and can therefore be conducted at home.

When you want to know whether your relationship can be good once again, we can find out together. Reach out today.

FAQs

How long does it really take?Just depends on what you are working through. After several months, some couples feel different. Others need more time. We'll figure it out as we go.

What if they won't come?Pretty common. You can still come alone and things can shift. Sometimes one person starting makes it safer for the other to join later.

Is it too late for us?If you're asking, probably not. Therapy may assist you in determining whether the relationship is recoverable or not and in any case, how to manage that in the least harmful manner.